Archive for October, 2010

Some years ago, I sat by an apple tree listening to a young but wise dragon. I didn’t want to hear his words, that’s the whole truth. But he kept insisting and persisting, and his voice grew stronger and stronger as he warned me. If you don’t take another path, you’ll ruin everything you have built until now, he said. Over and over again. Each and everyone will desert you, and you’ll be unable to go on by yourself.

I simply turned my back at him and refused to listen. After all, I was feeling a unique thing was happening to me: for the first time in my entire life I had been able to do something worthy, to put together something with a meaning, something that was publicly valued and recognised, something that soothed my soul and apaised my ghosts, fulfilling me each day with a renewed brilliant energy that I willingly shared with everyone around me… against all odds, with just a little more than mere will power, I had built my own kingdom, my own universe. One where I was respected, which had been born out of my heart, mind, soul, tears, blood.

Yet, he was right. A few months later, everything collapsed, in spite of all my efforts. And me, I collapsed along with my ruined dreams and totally burned-out.

Time heals everything, they say. It is also true, you know ? But changing a lifetime’s perspective is not an easy process to undergo. It hurts oneself. It also hurts everyone who loves us. It may destroy you completely, if you simply let it go too far.

I was fortunate, for I was able to put myself together again and get my life (lives?) back. I have changed and discovered that at the end of the day it is my inner self that I need to be at peace with.

Yes, the young dragon was far wise for his age. We could even say he was one of the few real visionaries I ever met in my life. Unfortunately, like all living beings, he’s more able to see the right path for others than for himself.

And today, I fear for him. And fear there is nothing I can do but watching, impotent, to his self-destruction – me, I am selfish, ok? I have lost already too many loved ones. It’s just enough, now, ok ?


Read Full Post »