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Posts Tagged ‘Second Life’

She looked at the abyss opening right before her feet. Deep inside of her, the same words echoed, over and over again “you’re so special to me. I’ve never felt anything like this”.

Yeah, words are so easily said, aren’t they ? And in a way, she understood. Of course we ALL are special to everyone we relate to, we all have roles to play in one another’s lives. So what ? Does that really mean anything special ?

Hands over her ears, she shouted out loud to stop those words. She knew they didn’t have the meaning she wanted them to have, she knew they wouldn’t lead her anywhere. She found herself fighting her dead ends, her own feelings and felt trapped again.

The voices only kept making themselves loud and clearer. “I love you”, they kept saying “why don’t you believe me?”. She didn’t. She had been there and new all about meaningless words that didn’t actually turn into actions.

So she took a step on and left herself fall in the abyss.

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I’m a bit tired, but if I don’t write this right away I know it will join all the other posts I wanted to write and didn’t found the time to do it.

This FL week was not kind to me. More troubles with the IRS Tax guys because of the tax declarations I should have delivered together with my ex-partner. Since he only signed one of the two he had to, and very very recently, I had to pay around 7k euros to the Tax Services. And since he still refuses to reimburse me of the half of the house that we bought together, I even had to face the possibility of selling my own car, which is the only asset I own at the moment (yeaps, he also kept the furniture and all, call me an idiot, I really deserve it, lol).

But then, a old friend offered to borrow some of the money I needed. My darling Petros advanced some more. And even though I will have no Holidays or Christmas fees during the next 3 years or something, at least I hope this is another closed chapter.

Then, with all these things happening (wish it would just all stop once and for all) and my therapist suggesting that I need an urgent break in order to be able to face all these bad news… good things started happening 🙂

In SL, a recent but already very good friend of mine, Dagmar Haiku (who is the adorable tiny elephant fairy godmother in the picture below) encouraged me to take a step I always thought was too far from my poor technical photo skills. More on this one of these days, lol.

When angels turn their back on you

Then, in FL, this amazing colleague of mine dragged me to the theater and to a walk and meditation (while listening to flute and drums) in a nearby mountain – all in the same week! Here’s a small sneak-in of this last event.

Yes, time does fly whenever you’re doing things that fulfill you. And yes, there’s always a friendly hand grabbing yours in times of need.

Not only a bit tired, I feel exhausted and know that I will be in bed really soon. However, I also know that I will fall asleep with a smile on my lips, hope in my heart and very ready to face the two hard working weeks that I have ahead of me. So I raise my eyes to the one who’s keeping an eye on me and say “thank you, from the bottom of my heart – I really needed all this!”

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Initially I created a doll in InWorldz so that the place would have a girl in that playground. Then, I thought I could make a couple more, lol. So I did. Of course, the textures on their dresses are not mine, neither are their hairs – and believe me, it’s a pain to find a hair which is not too primmy.

It was made as a gift for my Ass cousin in Plurk, Clio Cardiff… but then I just couldn’t help it and had to place them in Never Never as well.

So yes… LL is messing up, the grid was down and still as problems. But as far as I’m concerned, while I’m still able to loggin and have fun well – that was always my one and only purpose for being there in the first place, hehehehe

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Inspired on the original idea based on First life events, Trace Osterham – a wonderful inworld designer and photographer – decided to launch a similar project for Second Life residents. And the Two Three Six Five was born, which aims at telling short stories and experiences of 365 avatars in the metaverse.

I have to admit that I am really excited at start reading the result. I am sure this will be a blast and the project a major success. Can you just imagine having so many different perspectives in just one place ? Reading about funny lil situations, major romances or achievements? Second Life is such a rich environment that I can barely wonder on the diversity of the stories that can be told.

So here’s a challenge. Come and join, bring your own short story and make us laugh, smile, think or even cry if you want to. Check the guidelines and block a date for you. I can’t wait to read your story!

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I know every SL blogger has been speaking about this today. The 2.0 SL client is all over in the SLogosphere, in plurk and everwhere else, I would say. I still have a lot to consolidate about it, but my first impressions as a basic user is… I LIKE IT!

I probably am sick, but immediately thought about all the links my babe wants to show me all the time and pictured a scene quite similar to the ones below. Having the net inside SL, for both of us who each day have to sleep apart is no doubt another way of connecting our minds and souls – even when this means that I am farming while the other half of the sofa is fighting against rival tribes, LOL!

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My contact list in-world has remained almost unchanged for many months now, except for one or another contact that ends there because I have first met the person elsewhere (oh well, sometimes I meet someone in sites like Flickr, Avatars United or Facebook and THEN we add each other in-world, instead of the other way round which is probably the most common thing to do).

This means that most of my contacts are now eldest people in Second Life. People who were born before me, or at least until the end of 2008… I really didn’t make any accountancy, but I doubt I have someone in my list who was born since the beginning of 2009.

It really didn’t surprised me to watch my remaining friends logging in less and less frequently. I guess that life goes on and people find other interests to explore. Suddenly, Second Life is no longer a novelty, no longer a place where they are able to fulfil whatever it was that first drew them in there.

Mmmm… doesn’t that make you think? You see, in First Life, apart from the need to satisfy your basic needs (food, housing, clothing) you really don’t have a pre-determined goal. There are no “levels” to reach in First Life – or are there? You don’t really need to get anywhere before your neighbour – or do you? *sticks tongue

Well, in Second Life, it looks like everybody comes to a point where they simply demotivate. People go through a bunch of experiences, they meet loads of people, they do things that they would have never dreamt of doing in their First Lives… and then it seems that the mojo is over. That there isn’t anything else left for them there. Most people state that they remain in-world because of their friends. But what if you find better means to get in touch with them ? We all know Second Life is not widely known for its ability in congregating a mid-sized group all together in the same place doing the same thing for more than just a few hours…. they would all start crashing sooner or later, LOL.

Ahem… not too sure whether I am getting to the point. I mean, if First Life is so often demotivating, what makes you go on? How do you find reasons to live day after day? Then, on the other hand, you are offered (for FREE) a whole universe where you can do everything that you want – and you quit because it was no longer interesting? Now, now, what was really the problem there… Is the absence of guidelines/objectives/levels to reach too frightening? Does that leave you at a loss? Aren’t you able to find in-world something else that interests you? I don’t know, isn’t there a project anywhere in your soul that remains to be accomplished?

I understand that the easiest step is to withdraw and look for something else to do with your spare time. But I also know you will not find any other thing as unlimited as Second Life. (Let’s face it, whenever you quit SL, where do you go? What do you do during your online time?)

And more than that… when First Life seems not to be able to offer you something of interest – would you quit it as well, that easily ?

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One of my recent posts had a really nice comment where Peter Stindberg summed up his conceipt of Second Life. Today, a friend asked in Facebook whether people would still be around if all the games disappeared from that platform. In both cases, opinions highlighted the fact that these were mostly a mean for people to meet other people and keep in touch with each other.

Well, to start with, I might just agree with all of them. No doubt, my first years in Second Life were of discovery of others. Other people, coming from other countries, with different experiences and skills. It was a ride, indeed. A vertiginous one, no doubt.

Then, I had some unfortunate experiences with groups – some experts on human behaviour call them tribes. That was most disappointing and even disturbing. As time went by, I noticed that I had developped a standard behaviour of leaving any community where I felt I was slipping in. I fell apart from any groups of my own nationality, then I droped from Plurk and recently I have been quieter and quieter in Facebook.

Not to mention Second Life. Where I found myself choosing isolation more and more often. I gave up attending any of the said “social events”, well, except for concerts – there, I feel totally anonymous and I do not have to speak to anyone if I do not feel like it.

I still enjoy a good one-to-one chit chat or deep conversations with a few people with whom I remain connected. But for the most part ? Well, I admit that I prevented a lot of people from even noticing if I am online or not. In fact, one of the things I really don’t like in Second Life is that someone who IMs you immediately finds out whether you are online or not. And then, the only option is replying back, or the interlocutor may think you are rude – and those who knock on my door these days, all of them are people I really respect, trust, and whose friendship is important to me. But at times, I really wish there was a way I could get back to them on a later moment, as in Flickr, or even Facebook. In these, we are able to show ourselves up whenever we feel like it… if not, we can simply loggin and out without a trace.

Now, you may think this serioulsy spoils my Second Life experience. Well, it honestly does not. Quite the contrary, I believe. I am able to do all the things I enjoy. I attend all the exhibitions I have an interest for… just not only during the premiere. I visit all the sims I am curious about… just not only when there’s any major event going on. I communicate with everyone that matters to me… just not only during parties, contests or any other sort of gathering that implies more than 3 people together at the same time on the same place.

I am well aware that for most of you out there join any of the so called social networks (and let’s face it, this is how Second Life is perceived my the majority) as a mean to stay in touch. I often wonder why the heck do I keep joining so many platforms where people are expected to participate actively, if I already know that I will only post and read what interests me… I do not intend to have loads of contacts, I do not aim at being popular or even accepted. All I want… well, I guess that’s still what I wanted at the beginning of this journey, only I did not know how to do it. I want to understand the human behaviour and the reasons that make people act the way they do. I wish to challenge myself and shoot the best pictures that I can or set-up the most beautiful landscapes my skills allow me to. I enjoy jumping from SL to FB to Flickr and AU in order to appreciate the different initiatives and work. I have a great pleasure in commenting anything that draws my attention and to share with others the works of art that unveil before my eyes. However, it is important that I am able to do that on my own timing, according to my own convenience… and humour. Why? Because I learn faster and deeper if I am not involved in group activities. I am more objective and I am less able to jump into fast conclusions if I am not a member of the crew. My balance is better kept if I keep my independent path.

To a point that whenever I come across a stranger I tend to fly away really fast, just to avoid that person to feel tempted to speak to me. Simply because, most of the time, I really don’t feel the need to speak to nobody. Now, do you want to know the most curious thing? There are others like me around there!

So now you know. If you spot me, and the next minute I am not there, if you invite me over to your event and I do not attend, well… it is only because me and groups is not a pleasant combination. It does not mean, however, that I am not paying attention or that I am absent. For I am neither. I am just… following the path I chose for myself, alone in the metaverse.

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