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Posts Tagged ‘Just feeling happy’

Nighty night

When the house quiets down and all you listen to is the calm breath of your loved ones… you can’t help but feeling fulfilled and close your eyes for a well-deserved rest.

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As the sun slowly fell down, I went back to the beach I once called “mine”. I took my sandals off and felt the ocean moving slowly under my naked feet. It was still more than worm, a promising summer night approaching and I was being so careful not to get my new white dress all too wet.

The smoothness of the soft small waves kissing my skin was simply too intense, and at a point I almost fell on my knees as my legs started shaking. Undecided on whether to try getting on my feet again or simply letting me go with the sea, I heard the whisper of seagulls far above my head.

I paid attention to what they were saying and realises they were actually talking to me, allerting me to the ball of fire that had materialised a couple of meters behind me and was approaching slowly.

I was up again, even before I could consciously notice it, and look backwards. To my eyes, there was no ball of fire, only a child in a white dress pretty much resembling my own, dancing and jumping in between the coming and going of the flow of water.

It didn’t scare me, quite the opposite. The loneliness I had been feeling for so long suddenly started making sense and offered only tranquility and serenity. I turned my back at the happy child and went on strolling around over the wet sand. But then, I became aware she was catching me quite fast, and there was nothing I could do to prevent it. I slowed my pace down and waited for her to come closer… she could have some kind of message, maybe she was lost from her parents, perhaps I could help her in some way…

Instead, as her steps came by, her warmth also began to reach me. At each step she took, I felt like she was moving at light speed and suddenly she had turned into that ball of fire which the seagulls had told me about.

She came too close, then… and melted into me. For a moment only, we were just one as flames wrapped up my entire body and soul. It took me just a second to realise that we really were the same being.

As this tought crossed my mind, I understood she was leaving me, going now ahead of me, playing with the small waves and grabing handfuls of sand, which instantly dryed as she caught them. Slowly, the ball of fire started vanishing from deep inside of me, and only this special, different warm, remained.

I was following her now, the child that I once was and still lived inside of me in spite of everything that had happened… last year, two years ago ? I had lost track of time, and couldn’t care less that I had, by now.

She speeded up again, moving so fast I had not the strenght to follow her steps, but just before she totally disappeared from my sight I still could see her her turning back to me, waving, and sending me a message of hope and happiness.

She was gone now. However, at the sametime, she had remained in me, which was also obvious to my inner self. Then, I just new it was time to move ahead and that I would never be left alone for another single day in my life.

PS – this story will have a picture, sooner or later, for it already exists in my mind. It’s just a question of finding the time to set everything up. Apparently, I am writing again my simple short stories, hope you don’t mind me sharing them with you once in a while.

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I’m a bit tired, but if I don’t write this right away I know it will join all the other posts I wanted to write and didn’t found the time to do it.

This FL week was not kind to me. More troubles with the IRS Tax guys because of the tax declarations I should have delivered together with my ex-partner. Since he only signed one of the two he had to, and very very recently, I had to pay around 7k euros to the Tax Services. And since he still refuses to reimburse me of the half of the house that we bought together, I even had to face the possibility of selling my own car, which is the only asset I own at the moment (yeaps, he also kept the furniture and all, call me an idiot, I really deserve it, lol).

But then, a old friend offered to borrow some of the money I needed. My darling Petros advanced some more. And even though I will have no Holidays or Christmas fees during the next 3 years or something, at least I hope this is another closed chapter.

Then, with all these things happening (wish it would just all stop once and for all) and my therapist suggesting that I need an urgent break in order to be able to face all these bad news… good things started happening 🙂

In SL, a recent but already very good friend of mine, Dagmar Haiku (who is the adorable tiny elephant fairy godmother in the picture below) encouraged me to take a step I always thought was too far from my poor technical photo skills. More on this one of these days, lol.

When angels turn their back on you

Then, in FL, this amazing colleague of mine dragged me to the theater and to a walk and meditation (while listening to flute and drums) in a nearby mountain – all in the same week! Here’s a small sneak-in of this last event.

Yes, time does fly whenever you’re doing things that fulfill you. And yes, there’s always a friendly hand grabbing yours in times of need.

Not only a bit tired, I feel exhausted and know that I will be in bed really soon. However, I also know that I will fall asleep with a smile on my lips, hope in my heart and very ready to face the two hard working weeks that I have ahead of me. So I raise my eyes to the one who’s keeping an eye on me and say “thank you, from the bottom of my heart – I really needed all this!”

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to read this and find out what has been keeping me away. Away from computers, even from work, with my head dancing up high, with the clouds and the sun, the moon and even the rain.

I know that from time to time I will still need to write down something or to take a picture in-world. Now and then, I still recognise a productive thought or idea inside my mind, hehehe. Most of the times, however, my only thoughts are driven to making Piu as happy as he makes me.

Therefore, don’t expect much from me, for the time being. I need some more days to get back to Earth. Or months, maybe. Who knows, I might even need some more… years ?

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