I’ve been running from my own thoughts, these last couple of months. Keeping myself away from things I don’t want to think, feelings I don’t want to feel. Have been busy as hell, doing this and that and feeling the more I do the more things I leave undone.
It’s a bit useless, though. One day, you stop for a while and all these thoughts and feelings trap you. All they need is a window of opportunity and here they are again, pushing you against a wall of confusion, anger and fear. Then you know that maybe it is time to stop. To re-organise your life and your drawers. To make a break and go some place else. To have a deep look inside of yourself and face all those nasty little monsters that play seek and hide with your mind and soul.
Yes, there is no use in running from problems. Instead, you have to acknowledge them, and deal with them. They will not go away just because you don’t want to think about them – and wherever you go they will follow you.
Therefore – stop. You can either live with them or you can’t. And if you can’t, well… get that lazy butt off that chair and solve them once and for all! Do whatever you need to, cut the remaining roots if you still didn’t and move on. Oh, don’t look at me with that face, i do know it hurts like hell – but how long do you honestly think you can live with those unsolved matters?
Stop busying yourself with things that are just accessories. Work is not, health is not, as the special people in your life are not. Those should be your priorities. All of the rest, it’s things you will do on your spare time – do you need a definition of spare?
I look around and see work waiting for me. Plurk unattended. Conversations with my kid still waiting for the light of day. Lots of clothes and accessories to be shot and published. Talks with my guy left unspoken. Pictures to be taken, treated, posted. Posts to be written and books to be read. News to be watched. Walks by the sea to be taken. Taxes to be submitted.
No use running, sweetie. There are things that don’t depend on you alone, and those you have to endure as they are. However, there are others just waiting for you to take some steps. Will you do them?