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Archive for October, 2008

Today’s dream-song

Every morning as I drive to work, I listen to the same radio channel. Around 08:15 each day, they have this slot called “dream-song”. Sometimes the chosen song means nothing to me, but it already happened to find me singing out loud… or crying, while listening to it. Today’s music made me start to laugh for the first minute, and brought back a lot of happy memories. I share it with all of you – specially with those that, like me, have had a hell of a month.

For those who are not able to follow the portuguese/brazilien lyrics, all you need to know is that this is about a magical balloon with happy people inside – and all they want is to take this travel filled with fun and enjoyment. Even if the video is a bit old already, it surely deserves to be seen – holly godness, the expressions the the children faces!!

Have a great Friday, everyone :***

Ps – Hum, I AM growing old – why does Djavan all of a sudden seems so hot ? hehehe
Ps2 – specially for you, babe. I know a character in this video will seem familiar to you. No, I don’t think it’s our favorite marine guy who slipped out of the camp, but any comments welcome in my e-mail… uuuhhh!

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Intentions

It is really amazing. When people are totally poisoned against someone, no matter what you do, they will always find a way to completely twist every action you take and blame you for your “intentions”.

Yesterday I put all my lands in Portucalis for sale, in the post below. With that, I intended that a possible next owner of the sims wouldn’t be that overloaded with monthly tiers as I am currently. But you know what ? My eventual estate buyer twisted it completely and accused me of trying to lead him wrong, as if I was selling lands that I had promised to sell him – when we had spent a good part of the day chatting and speaking over the phone about ways that would allow him to reduce his own costs to a minimum.

Well, it’s no use, is it ? People will always look at things according to their own particular vision and based on the idea they have of you – in certain cases, an idea that grew on its own, in many others, and idea that was deliberately planted inside of you by someone else. Either the case, they will always interpret it their own way and will not care to ask what were you thinking (even when you spent a good part of the evening AGAIN speaking over the phone – of course it’s sooo much fun just to send an accusing e-mail so that the other one can read it first thing in the morning, right?).

And this is where my old friend ANGER reappears.

Gosh ! Yesterday evening I even thought I would let go Summer’s SL account along with the territory, only so that he wouldn’t have to pay 600 USD of property transmission costs! Yes, it really crossed my mind that it would be easier for everyone ! I actually called him and proposed it to him !

Yes… for a brief moment I considered killing this person who I have been for the last 2 years only for Portucalis to keep on and their residents not to be bothered. I would make the final sacrifice and would let go two years of memories, stories, a more than full inventory with some things that I would lost FOREVER and that have a whole MEANING for me (of course, after a couple of hours thinking about that and hurting myself deeply again, I concluded I am not really that strong just to let ME go like that).

Is this barely sane ? That I have been depriving myself and my kid of some First Life items just to keep the place up, after it was abandoned by my previous ex-business partners? The Goddess only knows what this implied – I have been doing that QUIETLY, for I considered that my financial problems are… my problems, lol (yes, often I rant that my ex-FL partner still hasn’t paid me what he owns me, since that would help a lot, hehehe). And where did all these sacrifices led me to ? LOL!!

Yes, it’s no use. I am now totally sure that I will be happier if I just let everything go. They all will be happier as well.

Bottom line: you won’t need to find my “hidden intentions” any longer. My intentions are at this moment as clear as they were all along the way. But I understand that interpretations are subject to… subjectivity. People with “agendas”, I know… they have a hard time believing that others simply don’t have them. People with second intentions, I know, have a hard time bilieving others don’t hide them inside.

It’s a pity. But now I know exactly what to do. And since you all believe I am this really mean inhuman self – well, this time pay attention and take good note. Don’t miss it, for I am going to finally prove you are all totally right !

😀

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For Sale

If anyone wishes to buy any piece of my land in Portucalis – including any piece of the resort, the lighthouse, Sniffland, Art Gallery, Library or Migas the medieval village, please feel free to contact me, either in or out-world.

I am selling it cheap – my only problem with that is I can’t stand to pay 80K lindens/month of tiers no longer. So go ahead and don’t be shy, I’ll probably accept the first offer that comes.

Kiss kiss

UPDATE – Situation solved 😀

UPDATE 2 – Situation not solved at all.

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Decisions

Some decisions take their time to mature inside of us. They force us going through the pain that the mere thought of taking such a step forward raises inside of us. They make us bearing with the feeling of loss, for every decision is always a loose-loose situation… and yes, sometimes we grow so attached to certain things that they come to be a part of our own selves, as if they were our own blood and flesh and bones and soul.

However, at the end of the day, the only blood and flesh and bones and soul are those we carry inside of us. Thus, nothing that is external to us is in fact that important – but often we need to take some time just to realise it.

My FL work has prevented me from being in-world as much as I used to. Which turned out to be good, for this time-off gave me a different perspective of things. It allowed me to be objective and to re-dimension my priorities.

And no, this is no such thing as a good-bye. Since I chose that my First Life would limit to work and raise this wonderful kid of mine, Second Life stood as the place where I communicate with those few that are worth my time and patience and where I have fun and do the things that I enjoy doing.

This is just my way of ackowledging that after many months I came to a decision. That finally I was able to put it down in words and write it over. And that I feel relieved.

😀

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Time-off

Because a day is only 24 hours and I have to focus in my FL work right now. Because Bulgaria happens next week and there’s still a lot of things to do.

And yes, also because I am tired. Tired of fighting against injustice, lies, lack of ethics, meanness – well, you name it. After all, everyone seems so happy to keep living in the rotten society they have created, if I don’t belong there why should I bother ? Probably, the only thing I have to do is step aside and let them all share their space with their friends the flies…

Yes, there is so many other things I have to pay attention to – why keep exhausting me, my mind, my strenghts and my finances in something that only gives me back this endless shitty taste in my mouth ?

Yeah… let them drown – most of them know how to swimm, anyway.

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Shame

Wondering between several blogs and my own mailbox I read some lines here and there that make me smile (yeaps, with that special sarcastic smile) and remind me of an old song by LeAnne Rimes:

Shame on you, if you fool me once
Shame on me, if you fool me twice

Regret is great only when you mean it. Not pretty at all when it’s but another way of fulfilling someone’s own Agenda. And I wonder what’s the part of “I’m not interested” that some still didn’t understand. Because I am not – not buying anything else besides what I have already, so don’t you waste your time. I surely don’t want to waste mine.

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On show-off

Don’t count me in.

I tend to write my feelings down, it helps me getting them off my chest. I don’t share them with anyone, though. And I surely don’t make a fair out of them.

Always despised those that live on the basis of appearances. Today, I am glad I’m way beyond all that. And that is why I won’t go to the circus today 😉

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