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Archive for October 23rd, 2008

Intentions

It is really amazing. When people are totally poisoned against someone, no matter what you do, they will always find a way to completely twist every action you take and blame you for your “intentions”.

Yesterday I put all my lands in Portucalis for sale, in the post below. With that, I intended that a possible next owner of the sims wouldn’t be that overloaded with monthly tiers as I am currently. But you know what ? My eventual estate buyer twisted it completely and accused me of trying to lead him wrong, as if I was selling lands that I had promised to sell him – when we had spent a good part of the day chatting and speaking over the phone about ways that would allow him to reduce his own costs to a minimum.

Well, it’s no use, is it ? People will always look at things according to their own particular vision and based on the idea they have of you – in certain cases, an idea that grew on its own, in many others, and idea that was deliberately planted inside of you by someone else. Either the case, they will always interpret it their own way and will not care to ask what were you thinking (even when you spent a good part of the evening AGAIN speaking over the phone – of course it’s sooo much fun just to send an accusing e-mail so that the other one can read it first thing in the morning, right?).

And this is where my old friend ANGER reappears.

Gosh ! Yesterday evening I even thought I would let go Summer’s SL account along with the territory, only so that he wouldn’t have to pay 600 USD of property transmission costs! Yes, it really crossed my mind that it would be easier for everyone ! I actually called him and proposed it to him !

Yes… for a brief moment I considered killing this person who I have been for the last 2 years only for Portucalis to keep on and their residents not to be bothered. I would make the final sacrifice and would let go two years of memories, stories, a more than full inventory with some things that I would lost FOREVER and that have a whole MEANING for me (of course, after a couple of hours thinking about that and hurting myself deeply again, I concluded I am not really that strong just to let ME go like that).

Is this barely sane ? That I have been depriving myself and my kid of some First Life items just to keep the place up, after it was abandoned by my previous ex-business partners? The Goddess only knows what this implied – I have been doing that QUIETLY, for I considered that my financial problems are… my problems, lol (yes, often I rant that my ex-FL partner still hasn’t paid me what he owns me, since that would help a lot, hehehe). And where did all these sacrifices led me to ? LOL!!

Yes, it’s no use. I am now totally sure that I will be happier if I just let everything go. They all will be happier as well.

Bottom line: you won’t need to find my “hidden intentions” any longer. My intentions are at this moment as clear as they were all along the way. But I understand that interpretations are subject to… subjectivity. People with “agendas”, I know… they have a hard time believing that others simply don’t have them. People with second intentions, I know, have a hard time bilieving others don’t hide them inside.

It’s a pity. But now I know exactly what to do. And since you all believe I am this really mean inhuman self – well, this time pay attention and take good note. Don’t miss it, for I am going to finally prove you are all totally right !

😀

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